t’s the type of situation that drives women crazy wondering what’s up: A man you’ve been dating hasn’t returned your call for two and a half days.
Or, when you end up calling him to invite him out with your friends, he’s busy that night.
Like many of my workshop participants, you may not be able to rely on your instincts. Write into your Action Plan the following signs to look for in your potential partner: Looking for clues in conversation can be fruitful, but a little trickier.
The key to interpreting the cues of a conversation is to combine it with observations of your potential partner’s body language.
As much as I’d like to say otherwise, the answer is yes.
The sad fact is, too many otherwise intelligent and sensitive women spend enormous amounts of energy excusing, explaining and otherwise rationalizing almost perfectly transparent male behavior—behavior that, if looked at objectively and honestly, means only one thing.
It isn’t just a people with autism, ADHD, learning disabilities and other neurodiverse diagnoses asking that question; the question is universal. People fear rejection, and one way to avoid rejection is to assume that potential partners are not attracted to you unless they clearly show otherwise.
In other words, to avoid rejection, people want to be super certain that their potential partners are interested in them before making the next move. You can replace your instincts with good observational skills. For me, a person’s face is the easiest place for you to look for signs of romantic interest.
Depending on your diagnosis, your fear of rejection may be heightened by a lifetime of difficulty socializing caused by your struggles with reading body language and deciphering social cues. Most neurotypicals can rely on their instincts to tell them if their potential partner is romantically interested in them. I say that because every region of your potential partner’s face gives signals that he or she is interested or disinterested in you.
And just when you’re about to give up on him, there he is at your door, apologizing like crazy—and not entirely sober—an hour past your bedtime.
Do actions like these conclusively prove beyond a reasonable doubt that he’s not as invested in your budding affair as you are?